Anything for you M'am !!

It all started with an inevitability
I knew I wouldn't commit nor would you
Maybe thats the reason I let off my guard
And let the attachment grew

But attachment grew more than I bargained for
To a point u became my necessity
And I found myself sucked in the whirlwind so fast
I never realized what happened was a possibility

It was a mistake a blunder on my part
Cos I always knew your limitations and mine
Even now I accept its my problem not yours
So trust me I need no help.. I am fine

But lets see why it happened in the first place
What exactly made me fall for you
Was it the trust,ur innocence or your beauty
Or was it the connection I shared only with you

I don't remember how it all started
Believe me I never intended it to happen
Just know ..your beauty wasn't the reason
Nor was my passion

Do u still remember the times we shared
The everyday chats during our daily chores
You unknowingly touched my heart a million ways
It had just never happened to me before

You were my long-forgotten dream come true
You were like me in so many ways
I could trust you for accepting me as I am
It was almost like the end of days

I shared for perhaps the first time
my heart,dreams and my soul
I knew I was going to lose you someday
But I still bared open my core

Guess you taught me to risk myself
For what I knew won't happen again to me
Maybe you find me strange now
Still its just the way things were; as I see

But there was no way you could understand this
It was afterall a breach of friendship and trust
So what if my attachment was way outside limits
It was still destined to bite the dust

So I turned the truth into a lie
Twisted the facts to fit the theory
U were happy to view things that way
But the strain has made me dreadfully weary

I decided to bade farewell on the same note
T'was impossible to justify things-- no matter how I tried
There wasn't even slightest chance I had with truth
But you earned the right to know when for me u cried

I knew you weren't ready for the truth
and it couldn't be diluted for your tastes
But it was last chance there was for you
to know this; cos u showed me u cared

Is it a crime to care and love ?
Why then I don't feel guilty for my actions
What you mean is something so personal to me
I am almost oblivious to all moral sanctions

I mean no harm,no trouble no anger
Its enough for me if you know
Don't bother to even give me a reply
I know you won't and I don't want a row

But all u did was to categorise me in ur list
as yet another loser moron ; who failed yet again
I was reduced into a caricature in a list so long
I had lost all my uniqueness; for you in ur brain

Oh If only I could do the same
Find a category to categorise you into
I tried but for you no category ever matched
So I created one special just for you

You must have met so many like me
But you see; you were the only one I met
Can you empathise what I really mean ?
Again I know its something you can't really get

You haunted my sleep when I tried not to think of you
Loneliness hit me at all times without warning
There was no-one I could look upto for relief
I got up in writhing pain every damn morning

Seems I need to escape my dreams to escape you
Which depends on how cleverly I lie
A lie so convincing that it covers every damn feeling
I lose yet again but atleast I can smile

If this lie is what it takes to keep you happy
Then so be it - a liar I am
Truth won't knock your door ever again
I will take care of it -Anything for you M'am !!