The Bull (fiction)

THE BULL
The bull looked on at me intently while it stood silently on the road deliberating on which way to go.It stood there for a long time.Somehow in his search for direction, his eyes caught hold of the cup in my hand.I stood just on the other side of the road at a small shop sipping tea from a plastic cup.There was no reason why but he kept looking at me.Maybe somewhere in my posture,my eyes and my disposition he found solace of a friend.It was apparent that he was hungry from a long time.I kept looking at him testily taking sips of my tea.Now a bull is an animal of magnificent strength and is gracious in his innocence.I agree to that.But something in the way this bull stood on the street was comical.His eyes was wide with innocence and ignorance.There was no slyness in those eyes.They were absolutely agape with terror and confusion at a situation which his mind was unable to completely assimilate and comprehend.So he just stood there.Maybe he was standing at that same position on the street that entire afternoon and now it was evening.Actually it was not the traffic which was the issue.There was no place on the road-sides for the bull to lie down.Also it could smell a delicious aroma of sweets ,emanating from a local halwai shop.The sweetness mesmerised and titillated the bull to its core.So it just stood there trying to comprehend what on earth could help him earn the source of such unearthly scent.Now even though the bull had unlimited strength,he was touchingly naive.He knew he would do anything he can possibly do to just be able to take one bite of the sweet.He was ready to walk all night,all day and and all the next night happily.Well that was all he could do and was capable of doing.This thought frustrated him.The thought that he was incapable to pay the prize,that is life ,his capacities were not only incapable to earn him the magical tantaliser but also unable to understand the prize for it.So he just stood there looking at me.The naivety of his eyes was painful to bear.But i wanted to suffer.Atleast it was cheaper than buying the sweets for him.Though the bull's mind was smaller than mine his heart was definately larger.It knew.It knew that i understood him.So it kept looking at me in just the way a small,frightened and mute child would look at his mother.Silence was enough.Silence was all that needed to be said.Those innocent loving eyes reminded me of my father .He was a Taurus too by moonsign as well as nature.A person who lost everything in life because of his generosity .A magnificent man but bit too naive for his own good.Completely blind to slyness,flashiness and cleveress of the the foxes around him.Suddenly it occureed to me that i had'nt phoned him in weeks now.I avoided him because he embarrassed me and bored me.I liked witty people not over the top sentimentalists who cry like a child evry single time I leave them to board the train.I knew i was'nt wrong.But i felt guilty unable to understand my sadness.Maybe it was my coldness which was the reason.I knew he was not well lately and my call would make him feel good.But...Meanwhile the bull was swaying its head too and fro.It was hungry now but not sure which direction would find him something to eat.If not the sweet then it was all the same to him.Just a continuous munch.That's all.The taste never really pleased his senses.After gruzzling it intended to come back again and stand at the same position on the road smelling the sweet.It knew by experience that if he tries to play it rough then he would be pelted with really sharp and painful stones..How can he forget..The memory made him lick the paw of his hind leg.Just last week some boy threw a large brick at him because he tried to eat a cauliflower at his stand.The pain instead of subsiding was growing day by day so much that it had to drag his leg awkardly and clumsily now.He licked it again and gave a long sigh.He was tired of life.
I gave a yawn,threw away the cup and paid 3 rs to the shop owner.I thought of calling dad but then decided against it thinking of rather calling him in the night.A i passed the bull,it turned his head to look at me and looked directly in my eyes.Those eyes had immeasurable pain and sadness which reminded me of all the hard times my Dad suffered but never really complained.He too stood just as silently in life ,waiting...The world around him made little sense to him then just as it did little now.
I patted the animal.It tried to lick me but i shooed it away.I was afraid of the infection of his leg which it was licking.As i took a turn by the road I saw it munching at my plastic cup which I had so callously thrown away on the street.I felt a sudden sharp twinge of guilt in my heart.As i walked on,I thought of all the addictions Dad got into while searching for his heaven.A heaven which he sought for us to enjoy.I again reminded myself to phone him in the night which i conveniently forgot, thus giving myself yet another reason to hate him as well as me even more.I had'nt really forgiven him for losing as i had'nt forgiven myself for hating him for it.

I glanced back the last time.As the night eclipsed the earth the bull still stood there beneath the lamp-post.