To my friend(dedicated to an old friendship now long lost)

I was sure things will change,my friend
as they already have
and you dont remember me as you did once
perhaps now the same connection exists within us
which exists with a stranger which smiles back at you fakely
you find him better than me
cos I dont even smile anymore
and a lot happened
which makes me unworthy of any smiles from you
But maybe on some autumn day years later
when you find your thoughts inadequate
to stop some thread going back through those thick veils
of your memory back to that quaint evening in the childhood
you might find me waiting in the rain
under the same tree in front of our school with my bicycle
glancing at my water-proof watch
which has stopped working
looking expectantly at those water-logged streets
for you to come by
bit annoyed
cos am getting late
and you cant go
if i dont pedal you back home from school
The clouds thunder mercilessly
and its getting dark and scary
and as their fury roll down I find my
patience slide away
in the muddy waters which now reflect
the blackness of the skies
I can still feel that moist sound in my ears
That moment little did I knew that
you were watching me through the sills of the
classroom window punished for something we wont remember
with a wet face and eyes slowly
urging time to make me wait just a while longer
cos you knew I wouldnt
I cant recall what happened later
with all this rain falling down my face and
sounds crashing in my ears
I cant remember a thing
just the way these years have washed our happy memories away from us
like that rain washed away the silt
I don't know how it matters after all these years
But I am sure in your mind you would like to remember
that I deserted you in the rain
soaking wet in the night
and things were never the same between us
with always a thin line of misconfidence in our tight bond of affection
and the years that passed rolled us down to a place
where we are no better than strangers
Maybe you are right
you always are
But in my mind I am sure I did wait
cos for all you know my friend
When I think of that rainy evening
scanning my hazy memories
I still find myself standing under the same tree
waiting in darkness for you
desperately praying that you would find me somehow before my impatience does
My watch shows me no time
and the rain promises never to stop ..
but surprisingly that evening never seems to grow into a night for me !!